Raising a teenager has always been a challenge, and many parents today lament that it is even more difficult today than it ever was. In a vastly connected world full of hustling, bustling teens, it is true that the parenting scene may look a little different for generations today than ever before. However, despite many recent changes in how parents interact with their teens, the major principles of parenting have remained the same.

IHS students shared that many changes in teen relationships are tied to social media. Freshman Preston Maljak shared, “I think that social media has caused a mostly negative impact since … it eats into your time that you could be doing things with other people.” It is possible that social media may contribute to the disconnect that many parents feel from their teen. However, other students also pointed out some positives of parenting in a connected world. For example, sophomore Keira Phipps’ shares about her mother, who works a long-distance commute as a flight attendant and who she does not always get to see: “Even though she works more now than before we have found ways to stay in touch through social media. I Marco Polo her every day and tell her everything that happened.” (Marco Polo is a social media platform where users can send videos back and forth with each other to keep in touch.) Although social media can have negative effects, Phipps is a good example of how parents and teens can use social media to communicate in innovative ways and strengthen their relationship with each other.

Something that has improved our understanding of parenting’s effects on children is better comprehension of mental health. Junior Shreya Kasireddy says, “I think that now that things like mental health are more openly talked about, and teens are taking initiative to talk about that, parents are becoming more open and more understanding of their teens.” As people gain the confidence to talk openly about mental health, it helps us understand how important healthy parent-teen relationships are to building a healthy mind. For example, the Greater Good Magazine, published by the University of California: Berkeley, said, “Emotional experiences can influence adolescents’ coping skills and behavior in ways that affect their well-being in the long-term. When teens regularly don’t feel loved for long periods of time, they may be at greater risk for mental illnesses like depression. These findings can help parents recognize that offering their teens daily warmth that is not conditional on their behavior can strengthen their relationship, especially in the face of conflict.” Our improved understanding of mental health is a way that we can provide today’s parents with the knowledge and tools to create a safe and open environment to help raise their children.

Despite these new developments, the goals and direction of parenting is the same as it always was. And although these goals can sometimes be difficult to manage, they have always been more or less the same. For example, for many years psychology has recognized four parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. The parenting types are measured by the warmth and authority of the parents, with authoritative being a good mix of both. The UCLA Center for the Developing Adolescent says, “Research into parenting styles has shown repeatedly that when parents are warm, respectful, and supportive and hold consistent, firm, and rational expectations for behavior, adolescents are less likely to suffer from anxiety or depression or to abuse drugs or alcohol…. They are also more likely to show maturity, resilience, optimism, and self-regulation and to do better in school.” To this day, it is proven that an important part of successful parenting is balancing warmth and authority in their relationship with their teen. Parenting should also be about having an open ear and practicing healthy communication skills. Senior Jack Hancock said, “I have seen a lot of parents with bookshelves of books on how to parent. But just go with your gut and listen to your child.” Building a relationship based on communication helps build a relationship that will last. The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) writes, “Listening actively helps children to feel heard, understood, less alone and calmer. By contrast, if we do not listen properly, we risk making them feel as though we are brushing off their concerns and invalidating their feelings. This can leave them feeling defensive, frustrated, alone or hurt.” On the other hand, practicing building that relationship based on healthy communication will give your relationship a strong foundation and help you safely navigate your way through future conflicts. It will help you achieve what every good parent wants: what is best for their kids.

Although it may seem that parenting has become a more difficult challenge with today’s generation, it is possible that the new characteristics of our day and age are not hindering parents’ ability to raise their teens but instead providing them with new tools to help them succeed. And despite these developments, the true principle of parenting has remained the same: to build a welcoming, warm, and supportive environment to help raise your children to reach their goals and achieve their dreams.